Honest Dean
by deanpala
Summary: Dean is cursed to be honest. warnings inside, be sure to read them as this may be triggering.
1. food and abandonment

_Thank you Time of the Flame Heart, lenial125, Spnks15, and Spnfanforlife! It was a close thing, but honest Dean won by a hair! Fair warning, this story may have mentions of several eating disorders such as binge eating and anorexia, implied child/adult, and is 90% anst with only a little humor so be aware be warned be wary!_

Sam got up at about seven in the morning and was surprised to find Dean awake as well.

"Hey Dean. I'm gonna go run and grab breakfast, what do ya want?"

"Well I don't usually want to eat anything at all, I just do it for your peace of mind and when I do eat it's a butt load because we learned when growing up that you don't know the next time you'll have food, and I cant take care of you if I'm malnourished."

Deans face turned horrified as soon as the words left his mouth. There was an awkward moment of silence that seemed to stretch out between them.

"Dean…?"

"Pie. I meant pie Sam. pie sounds good."

"Dean, are you okay?"

"Not generally, no, I have a lot of issues that I cant deal with because I'm emotionally inarticulate."

"…"

"I meant fine. Same as every other day. Nothing's changed."

"Are you meaning to say any of this?"

"No and I'd really like it to stop, I don't really enjoy talking about my feelings."

"OOOkkay then, I guess we have to do some research after I get some breakfast."

"Please don't leave."

Dean quickly threw a hand over his mouth as soon as that came out.

"What? Why?"

Dean glared at Sam as made an obvious effort to not say anything, but it didn't quite work.

"I have really bad abandonment issues and separation anxiety and I don't want you to ditch me again."

"Dean, why would you even be worried about that?"

"Well dad left me all the time without saying anything and then you left me alone on most holidays, for flagstaff, College, Ruby-"

"OKAY ENOUGH I GET IT! I'm sorry alright?"

It was plain to see that Dean felt like crap for rubbing all that in Sams face, but it wasn't like he had a choice.

"Can you maybe not keep asking me direct questions that I have to answer?"

Sam sighed.

"Yeah sure Dean, but we're talking about this later."

"So you're still leaving?"

The broken voice that came out of Deans mouth made him want to kick someones butt for making him so scared he was gonna ditch him. Preferable his own butt since he was the source.

"Yeah, and you're still eating, but you can with."

Deans face brightened a bit.

 _Thank you all for reading, and please remember to review!_


	2. Affection

_Thank you for reviewing JoeFandome, smalld1171, SpnKsl5, and Spnfanforlife. Reviews make me more eager to update!. I know I'm gonna regret this, but I have brought the poll back! Please vote and review! WARNING: this chapter may be triggering. Probably not since the thing is implied, but still, be careful._

Sam noticed that Dean was acting weird at the diner and decided to question him about it.

"Dude, you didn't even _try_ to flirt with the waitress even once. Heck, you didn't even smile at her! Are you sick or something?"

"No, I don't actually like flirting as much as I act like I do, I just really like the cuddling and affection that comes from going home with a girl. Also, she wasn't even hot dude!"

Sam was bewildered. Dean not enjoying flirting? But he did it all the time! And what was that about just enjoying the cuddling?

"Do you even like sex?"

For the first time since this started, Dean didn't answer a direct question. Instead, he looked like he was actively trying not to barf.

Seeing Dean like that brought back memories of another time Dean looked similar and Sam was too young to understand it at that age.

He remembered Dean being dropped off by his teacher with money and food then not eating it.

He remembered how Dean would white knuckle the toilet, even though he definitely wasn't sick, because he always spent so much time showering over and over again.

He remembered all the layers of clothes Dean would wear even though he was constantly sweating and how he'd jump a foot in the air if Sam touched him.

But more than all of that, Sam remember the time he offered to work after school to get money from the teachers like Dean did and how hard Dean had grabbed his shoulders and made him _promise_ to never ever _ever_ be alone with a teacher.

When the memories ended, Sam promptly pulled over and threw up like he never had before.

 _Poor Dean! Please send him love. And don't foget to vote!_ _A) robot Dean B) Demon Dean C)Sam is Lucifer D) Dean leaves Sam E) famine actually affecting Dean F) obedient Sam_


	3. Einstein and Harvard

_Thank you for reviewing JoeFandome, SpnKsl5, and Spnfanforlife. Reviews make me more eager to update! Also please remember to vote! The Einstein riddle is not mine, it is Einstein's._

Sam had just wanted a break from all this depressing crap with Dean, and now he had a head ache. He honestly didn't know why trying to solve this riddle was a good idea, the site straight up said that only 2% of people could solve it and he spent the last hour tying to get more than eight things assigned to various houses.

The riddle was the Einstein riddle that went like this.

 **The situation**

There are 5 houses in five different colors.

In each house lives a person with a different nationality.

These five owners drink a certain type of beverage, smoke a certain brand of cigar and keep a certain pet.

No owners have the same pet, smoke the same brand of cigar or drink the same beverage.

The question is: _Who owns the fish?_

 **Hints**

the Brit lives in the red house

the Swede keeps dogs as pets

the Dane drinks tea

the green house is on the left of the white house

the green house's owner drinks coffee

the person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds

the owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill

the man living in the center house drinks milk

the Norwegian lives in the first house

the man who smokes blends lives next to the one who keeps cats

the man who keeps horses lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill

the owner who smokes BlueMaster drinks beer

the German smokes Prince

the Norwegian lives next to the blue house

the man who smokes blend has a neighbor who drinks water

Obviously he was having a difficult time figuring it out. Out of annoyance and little brother instinct, he said "hey Dean can you help me with this?" even though he highly doubted that he could. Great, now Dean would feel stupid and Sam would get all depressed when he heard Dean talk about it.

Dean came over to Sam and read the riddle over for about to minutes before calmly stating

"The Green house."

Sam looked at Dean in shock.

" _What?!_ "

"You heard me. The German in the green house who smokes prince and drinks coffee is the one who owns the fish."

"You're kidding. There is no way you figured that out, especially in such short time!"

Dean just shrugs.

"Well I did. I can't lie right now Sam you know that. What's the big deal?"

"You must have memorized it or SOMETHING!"

Dean was getting annoyed.

"No Sam, I'm just not a moron like you seem to think!"

"Look Dean, I'm sorry but it's the _Einstein riddle._ Only 2% of people in the _entire world_ can solve it!"

"So?"

"So how did you do it?"

"Solve it?"

"Kindda. Not like the process, but how did you do it? Like, when did you become a genius?"

"I don't know always? You're not the only one who got accepted into some stupid fancy school Sam."

Dean immediately shut his mouth after that little fact slid out.

"You got accepted into an ivy league school?"

Dean just nods.

"I didn't know you even applied. Why didn't you go?"

"Someone had to take care of you. I don't even know why I applied to that stupid school."

Sam wished John was alive so he could punch him.

"Which one did you apply for?"

"Harvard."

"How'd you get in? Not to be rude, but you didn't exactly have your nose in a book or spend much time on homework."

"Yeah well, that's because it was easy. Don't need to spend an hour on a five minute essay Sam."

"Oh…. Well then why did you drop out?"

"Teachers wouldn't leave me alone about applying to more schools. Besides, it was a waste of time there."

Dean turned around to walk off.

"Dean, wait. I-I'm sorry. About everything."

"It's okay Sam; it's not your fault."

Sam looked away from Dean in guilt. It was his fault. It was his fault Dean did what he did as a kid to get food for him. It was his fault Dean didn't go to Harvard. It was his fault he always treated Dean like a stupid kid and rubbed his own supposed intelligent superiority in Deans face.

Sam turned back to the computer so he could keep researching ways to fix Dean. He didn't want to learn anything else.

 _Okay, so I've come to realize that I am not being very clear. The votes are for the next story ill write, they have nothing to do with any current stories. With that clarified, please vote!_ _A) Robot Dean B) Demon Dean C) Sam is Lucifer D) Dean leaves Sam E) famine actually affecting Dean F) obedient Sam_


	4. Pity and resentment

_Thank you guest, Joefandome, SpnKs15, RenegadeOyu, and spnfanforlife for reviewing! I will now be doing the poll by titles instead of the actual ideas although they are already planned out. The winners for the last one were demon dean and obedient Sam so I will be writing those before the polled stories. Please review._

Dean was doing his best to avoid Sam at all cost. Don't get him wrong, it's not like he disliked Sam at this point or anything, but after the little fact about how he got food on the table for Sam, he kept looking at Dean with pity. He was grown man who could take care of himself, not some five year old kid! He knew Sam already thought of him as weak before, and he was sure it was worse now.

That stupid puzzle of Sams didn't help much either. It's not like it was that hard anyway, and by proving he wasn't a freaking moron he _still_ had Sam feeling bad for him.

Sam on the other hand, desperately wanted to talk to Dean. He'd been going out of his way to try to make conversation with him but Dean kept shooting him down. He finally had Dean cornered enough to talk to him and asked

"Dude, why do you keep avoiding me? I know it's not because you want to because just yesterday you said you had issues with separation."

Dean mumbled back.

"Just because I have separation anxiety doesn't mean I have to be right next to every second of everyday Sam."

"So your be fine if I just went to the bar for an hour?"

"No I wouldn't….. Shut up Sam."

"No, not till you tell me what's wrong."

"Fine, I hate your pity Sam."

"Dean I don't-"

Dean exploded in anger finally with years of emotion that he always held back.

"Shut up, you wanted me to talk so I'm talking. Ever since you turned eight you started looking down on me. I told you I'm not stupid, I notice that stuff Sam. I'm sick and tired of your crap."

"Dean, since when have I ever-"

Sam wouldn't get to finish that sentence; Dean was on a roll now and had no intention of stopping.

"Remember that one time I dropped by Stanford just to chill with you and your stupid friends were treating me like I was stupid and instead of telling them to knock it off you just looked embarrassed? Or how you never called me the entire time you were there? How you told me to kill you if you went dark side and less than two years later you had a black eyed bff that you were using as a keg? Or how you badgered me for months to spill about hell and then called me whiny and weak for never doing anything but whining about it even though I've hidden every flash back I've ever had? How you always talk about I'm such a bad person for pick pocketing and hustling pool when I do it so you don't have to and you can have food?"

Sams voice choked up as his eyes watered with guilt.

"Dean, I'm sorry. I know that saying that will never be enough, but I am! I know I'm a jerk and I shouldn't act the way I do toward you when you practically raised me. I don't think you're weak, I'm just finally realizing after years of being an idiot what you've done for me. It's not pity, I just feel bad that any of it had to happen."

"And how is that not pity?"

"Shut Up. I'm trying to say something here. Dean, do you think you could ever forgive me?"

"…. Yeah Sam I already have."

"But you just-"

"If I gave you a black eye and you forgave me for it, you'd still have a black eye Sam."

"Good point. So we're good right?"

Dean just sighed.

"Sure you dork."

 _Here's the poll! A) The Dean Winchester Show! B) Ghost of futures past C) For what is withheld D) In sickness and in health no more E) Still I dream of you F ) My charge G) Brother one way or another H) The voices in my head I think are not my own I) The good the bad and the ugly J) Smoke on the water_


	5. Decisions and trust

_Thank you for reviewing SpnKs15! The winner of the poll was sorta schizophrenic Dean. The poll will be going down for awhile as I already have three stories lined up and do not want to go back this far once I reach the end of another to see who voted._

Sam felt like an idiot. One of the most obvious monsters that would mess with them like this, and it took him two days to even think of it.

What was this creature you might ask? As Dean would say, 'freaking witches.'

After he thought of it, it took him less than ten minutes to find the hex bag. The witches weren't even good at covering their tracks, and it took him TWO FREAKING DAYS!

Needless to say, Sam was a little mad at himself for not thinking of it sooner.

He told Dean about finding the hex bag and decided to burn it, but as Sam held it over the flame filled trash can, he couldn't help but hesitate.

"What are you waiting for? Im ready to get this voer with already!"

"Will you keep telling me the truth even after we burn it?"

Deans eyes went wide with slight fear. And for good reason to, Sam was thinking that this honesty thing could be good. How long had Dean been starving himself and worried about being left? How long had he carried the psychological scars given to him as a child? How long had Sam unknowling called a genius a moron? He could help Dean this way, if only hed be more honest…..

"Sam, I know what youre thinking, don't do it. Please."

"Answer me Dean. Will. You. Be. Honest?"

"No. I-I CANT."

"Why not?"

"Its not your job to worry about me. You have enough on your plate without adding my crap. Its not like you listen when I am honest anyway."

"If I promise to start listening to you, will you be honest?"

"Sam-"

"Will you be honest!? Tell me Dean! Just tell me already!"

There was a quite sigh from Dean.

"Im not sure I can, okay, now burn that freaking thing!"

Sam sat there for a minute contemplating.

With a world weary sigh, Sam dropped the hexbag into the flames.

They stood back and watched it burn together.


End file.
